Pretty Much Absent

Hi everybody, it's me again.. I know you haven't heard much of me these past weeks and months; I used to write a post a day pretty much for months last year, which I had to give up due to heading straight for total exhaustion trying to do it all and ever since I have been trying to getting back to some sort of a routine. There are many ideas flowing around in my head, which are forming to very coherent constructs at the oddest times of the day (e.g. while laying awake for a few minutes after nursing Violet at 3 in the morning or while walking downtown during my lunch break). For some reason, I seem to be creative when I am least able to write, and at night, during those couple of hours when the girls are in bed (and sometimes even Richard), I sit and seem not to be able to form a coherent, sensible thought. And to be honest, I'd rather NOT write than writing trash, out of respect to you, my readers, and a little bit out of respect to myself.

Probably this little blockage in my head that keeps me from expressing myself gives me some time to collect myself, digest some pretty heavy loads I've been facing (partly ignoring them for too long) and which will partly find their way into some future posts. Richard and I have been using the time to spend some evening quality time together, enjoying old favorites and discovering new gems. But still, I've been doing a lot of thinking, general and more particular. A couple of weeks ago I met my best friend for brunch and she brought me a little calendar with a collection of mostly African proverbs and sayings, which have also inspired me and directed me in a direction I feel is helping me getting over some things I will never be able to change and grow by acknowledging them.

In order to not be caught off guard any more, I decided to carry a notebook with me. I dug out a little black note pad Richard bought me as a journal a long time ago, I think when I was pregnant with Lily and wanted to write down some of my weird pregnant thoughts (guess what, of course I was way too busy to do so). I hope that soon I will be able to return with more regular posts, so keep your eyes open!